The Skinny Girl’s Guide to Surviving ToyCon

I’ve just finished scrubbing my wrist raw trying to remove the massive stamped ink on my skin.

Shaped like Batman’s head in honor of his 75^th anniversary this year, the stamp on my wrist tells me that I am one of the elite, one of the ecstatic geeks who braved the crowds and survived the annual awesomeness that is ToyCon.

Every year, I buy myself a ticket to gain entry into this hallowed event, this holy haven for those of us with esoteric tastes. And every year, I wind up harassed and bruised, my feet swollen from all the people who’ve stepped on them, and my lovely lady lumps violated (inadvertently, of course).

Gone were the days when I could wear my casual cotton dresses with a trusty pair of Keds and move through the booths with such ease and comfort. Because more and more fans journey to this Mecca of geekdom that is the Megatrade Hall at SM Megamall, it is now impossible to be unprepared and come out of the crowds alive.

Still, I would never miss my annual pilgrimage to ToyCon. All I gotta do is gear up and charge into battle with all the right tools in my arsenal. How else would I be able to score that Fables deluxe edition graphic novel?

That said, if you’re a frail little lady devoid of any significant muscle tone just like me, how do you make it out of there in one piece?

The Skinny Girl’s Guide to Surviving ToyCon

1. Suit up.

High heels? You’re kidding. Mega-cleavage? Get out. Barely-there shirts? Are you sure you’re in the right place?

ToyCon is packed with eager people carrying huge backpacks that will be swung in your direction. If you’re unprepared and in your dainty little clothes that are anything but comfortable, you will not last a minute in there. And because you will likely be pushed and carried away by the sea of people coming wave after wave through every booth, you will likely get groped unintentionally. So unless you’re one of the amazing cosplayers, just dress up in your most comfy outfit—a normal shirt and jeans will do. Grab an easy-to-carry bag and tie your hair up so you don't have to keep brushing it out of your face. And for the love of all that’s holy, protect those frontal assets of yours if you want to avoid cringing with chest pain all day.

2. Mission-Vision.

Like any survival campaign, you must come with a battle plan. Know what you want and what you’re looking for before you arrive at ToyCon, and keep an eye out for them once you’re in there. If you come unprepared, you will probably end up spending way too much on everything you see—because trust me, everything WILL be awesome. Having a  clear Mission-Vision on what you’re there for will not only help you save money, but it will also help bring back that sense of logic that Toycon somehow removes in everyone’s minds once there.

3. Know when to yield.

If everyone’s clamoring for something, decide whether it’s worth getting trampled upon to get it. Don’t try to force your way into booths just so you can make the cut. Instead, politely wait for your turn, or try to inquire from afar. Do not try to block the walkway, because really, your tiny frame will not hold up well against the massive fellow geeks making their way towards you (although to be honest, there really isn’t much of a walkway anymore with the swarm of people all around you). If there’s one advantage to being skinny, it’s that you can sneak and worm your way around small gaps so you can check out your toy/comicbook of choice. But if someone beats you to it, back off. Respect your fellow geeks. A little courtesy goes a long way.

4. Try to be systematic. Keyword: TRY.

The Megatrade Hall is just a rectangular space. Easy enough to master, right? But when ToyCon comes, it transforms into the moving staircases in Hogwarts and you will find it to be one of the most challenging spaces you have ever traversed in your life. So, as much as you can, try to make your way per row of booths, assuming you don’t get carried away by the horde of enthusiasts around you. It is like a field day for the Walking Dead in there, and if you’re not careful, you can get sandwiched between two backpacks with no way to escape. Also, when you spot something you like in a booth, try to decide if you really want it or not (again, Mission-Vision). Because if you think you can just “come back for it later”, think again. Relocating the booths once you’ve become disoriented is like trying desperately to look for the entrance to Narnia. Chances are, you will not find it again amidst the crowd, so try to make the most out of a booth. Again, the keyword is TRY.

5. Have the time of your life.

This grand ToyCon only comes but once every year, so despite the disheveled mess you’ll be when you exit the hall, it is still one of the most nerdgasm-inducing events in the country. It gets bigger and bigger with more and more attendees (and more booths but pricier tickets, sadly) every year, and it’ll hopefully keep going strong in all the years to come. So put your game face on, brave the crowds, and just have an amazing time with all your fellow geeks (make sure you pee before you get in). You may be a tiny girl on the outside, but you’re an even bigger geek on the inside!

Image source: dccomics.com