Saturday, November 15, 2014

The Most Annoying Airplane Passengers Ever

Seat reclined. Jacket draped over our bodies. Snuggled together. Hands entwined.

My husband and I were settling in as the plane took off. Then, when we were just about to close our eyes for a quick nap during the hour-long trip, she started moving. The woman seated beside my hubby.

She was rapidly rocking her head side to side, her eyes closed, her brows knit together. Her hands were raised. Her feet were kicking.

For a split second of horror, we thought she was being possessed.

She was just stretching, though. Sure. That’s what she was doing. Minutes later, she started chanting something. Out loud. With feelings. She didn’t even have earphones on or anything.

On the weirdness scale of weird airline passengers, she definitely takes the cake.

But that’s not all there is to be wary of.

The Worst Airline Passengers You Will Ever Have the Misfortune of Flying With

The Patient Zero.

You know that one person who keeps sneezing and coughing right in your face without even bothering to cover up his mouth? By the time you land, you’re pretty sure the virus has taken over your body and your trip is officially ruined.

The Concert Artist.

Singing. Out loud. All the time. Singing. Okay, we get that you love music and that you can’t help but express your feelings, but you are in a confined space with other people you should be considerate of. We are stuck here with you for a long time. So please. Just because you’re wearing headphones doesn’t mean we can’t hear you.

That One Guy/Girl Who Thinks He/She Owns the Plane.

It’s a common mentality. When a person is thrust into a big group of his peers, he gets bolder, louder, and undeniably more annoying. Yes, you’re in a big group and you’ve never felt more alive. But that doesn’t give you an excuse to laugh like you’re the only person in the whole cabin, or to talk like your friend is all the way down the other end of the plane. We can see right through you, you know. Deep down, you’re just an insecure loner who thinks this is your only chance to get noticed. It just doesn’t work, so zip it and sit down. This is not your private jet.

The One Who Won’t Shut Up.

Seriously. Keep the gritty details to yourself, or at least keep it down. Nobody wants to hear about how your snotty officemate sniveled her way to the top to get that promotion before you did, AND had the guts to steal your pen during lunch break. That is NOT the kind of in-flight entertainment we’re looking for.

The Crying Baby’s Parents Who Don’t Give a Crap That Their Baby is Crying.

I love babies. I adore them, and I wish I had one of my own. They can’t help it if they cry during flight. Every time an infant cries on board, it just breaks my heart. Flying is just very difficult for babies, and they should be comforted and loved and attended to for the whole trip. Hear that, neglectful parents? THE WHOLE TRIP. Acting like you can’t hear a thing when your baby is clearly having the most uncomfortable nightmare on board is just plain evil. Look alive, parents. Your little one is crying for a reason!

There are definitely loads more, like The One With a Twitch in His Butt or The Toxic Perfume Bomb, but these are the ones that top my list. What do you think? Got any to add to the roster? <BTW, it's been ten years, but Mean Girls still rocks!:) >

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