Wednesday, June 4, 2014

So you're married. Now what?

The very first thing I did when I got home was pee. Really.

I was filled with too much excitement just waiting to be released. I was stepping into a wonderful new life with a husband I love dearly, and I was filled with that “Just Married” aura, so much so that I just hadn’t snapped back to reality yet. There were just too many things to do, and so many burning questions that I had to find the answer to: how will our bathroom routine work? Which is his side of the bed? Can I keep doing freelance work in our room? Where will I put my Playstation 3?

The important questions.

Thankfully, I was coming home to my husband’s parents’ house—now my in-laws. So really, there wasn’t much to fix because everything already has its place. Some people might think that living with the in-laws is a big no-no, but honestly, it suits me just fine. More on this on later posts, though.

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So we unpacked for six days and tried to settle down. Even though it seemed like forever, we actually got the hang of our everyday routines. But two months came by like a blur—I honestly can’t remember the first few weeks of married life. All I know is that I was a lovestruck girl living in my happy little bubble.

Of course, that’s not always how it works best. So let’s get into the nitty gritty.

Congratulations! You’ve now begun a new chapter on the road to your happily ever after. You’ve snagged yourself an awesome man and he’s officially the luckiest man on earth. When all the flowers have wilted and when the wedding gown can no longer fit (hopefully not that fast though), you come home with your beloved hubby with stars in your eyes and your heart bursting with love and joy. You’re now left with a mountain of gifts (yay!) and with a new life you’re excited to begin. How do you start?

1. Brace yourself.

You know how everyone says that you never truly know your significant other until you start living with him? I was pretty confident that I knew my husband inside and out. Now that we share the same room—and on one hysterical mistake, the same toothbrush—I can only say this: I’ve never loved him more.

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2. Adjust.

I’m not a glam girl. I’ve never learned how to properly put on makeup, and I can’t use an eyelash curler if my life depended on it. I basically just walk around all day with my hair unbrushed (judge me not). But I am still a woman, so I have my fair share of bathroom musts. Now that I’m living with a man, and in his parents’ house no less, everything has changed. Truths on outfits and daily routines have made me topsy turvy, and house rules are a must-follow. It’s cool to suck it all in though; life is full of change. It’s what helps us move on with our lives, and hopefully make us better in the process.

3. Grow up.

Wild, clueless, and extremely immature, I have a lot of growing up to do. It’s not so much as saying goodbye to your old self as it is turning the crazy down a notch. As a married woman, you gotta conduct yourself properly in public. It’s time to let go of those barely there tops and super short shorts. Keep in mind that you’re representing your hubby too wherever you go, and there’s the question of finances as well. My husband had to stop collecting a certain toyline of his, and I had to cut back on my comicbook collection. Of course, some things are just too difficult to give up, like Legos.

4. Keep your friends close.

More than the ring on your finger, your married life shouldn’t mean that you’ve closed yourself off completely. Your friends have been there for you since before you even met this guy, right? So make sure they stay with you until forever. Besides, you need that time off with your hubby every once in a while, and so does he. Having both a joint and separate social life is key to a good and healthy relationship. And each time I go out late at night with my friends, I find that I can’t wait to come home to my husband at the end of the day. It’s nice to miss and get missed sometimes.

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5. Love, love, love.

It’s a cliché and you should know this by now, but here it is: never stop being in love. A lot of people say being in love is more shallow than wholly loving, but I honestly believe that you gotta constantly be in love with your partner if you truly love him. That means staring at his face when he does something stupid and finding it to be the cutest thing in the world, glaring at him when he hogs your side of the bed but then realizing that it’s the perfect opportunity to cuddle, and laughing uncontrollably at his impressions that absolutely make no sense to everyone else. More than the deep and true love that you both meaningfully share, the seemingly insignificant stuff mentioned are also crucial to staying happily married.

There are a lot more things to do and discover as the days go on—after all, I’ve only been married a short while and I’m a complete rookie at this. But still, I find that it’s the little things that make me love my husband more. It’s the secret to knowing your man is for keeps.

So for now, I think my happy married life can be summed up in this little anecdote of mine:

Just to mess with me (because he’s such a little kid), my husband has a penchant for rubbing his exceptionally oily nose on my hands or on various parts of my clothing, something so icky and yet he’s incredibly good at sneaking one in at lightning speed like a ninja. What ensues is an epic battle to try to avoid him at all costs.

I usually end up with very oily hands that I have to wash off vigorously minutes later.

And it’s one of the best parts of my day.

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